Damn You Autocorrect
by MakoHeadrush
Summary: This is an experiment of sorts...Damn You Autocorrect has to be one of the funniest sites on the interwebz, so it got me to thinking...wouldn't it be funny to apply this to the characters of FFVII. So, here we are. FFVII meets DYAC.
1. Crock Pot

**This is an experiment of sorts...Damn You Autocorrect has to be one of the funniest sites on the interwebz, so it got me to thinking...wouldn't it be funny to apply this to the characters of FFVII.**

**So, here we are. A FFVII drabble series based upon Damn You Autocorrect, and the misunderstandings that will follow. First one is Reno and Cloud, naturally. **

**Rated...well, T to start I think, though it might be upgraded to M down the road, we shall see.**

**Usual disclaimers: I don't own Final Fantasy, Squeenix does, nor do I own the copyright for Damn You Autocorrect. This is written for fun, not profit.**

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><p>Reno was half heartedly finishing up a field report in his office. Even though Tseng and everyone else had left for the day, Reno had stayed behind a few minutes longer, which was a rare thing for the paperwork-hating Turk.<p>

His cell phone, sitting on his desk, vibrated and buzzed suddenly, indicating an incoming text. Reno smiled when he saw it was from Cloud.

_~Working late? Dinner's waiting for you in the crotch pot when you get home.~_

Reno snorted laughing. "Screw this report, man," he said to himself, snickering. "Not when I have a hot dish like that waiting for me at home." Preparing to leave, he fired back a smartassed text to Cloud.

_~That sounds good. I love your crotch pot cooking. What are we having, something with cream sauce?~ _Snickering like a twelve year old, Reno sent the text, and bit his lip to keep from laughing. Locking up the office, Reno headed down the hallway, studying the screen of his smartphone as he waited for a text back.

Moments later, a text popped up from Cloud.

_~Oh gods, I meant CROCK pot, not crotch pot. I hate this stupid phone! Stupid auto erotica!~_

Reno howled with laughter, and accidentally stumbled into a potted palm. A secretary passing by in the opposite direction gave Reno an odd look. "S - sorry!" he managed to gasp out.

_~AUTO CORRECT! Just come HOME, damn it._

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><p><strong>(And here's the text that inspired this one):<strong>

_~Don't eat the chicken in the crotch pot. Eat the stuff in the fridge~_

**~I usually tend to avoid eating chicken out of crotch pots but thanks for the heads up I suppose~**

_~That's what I'm here for~_

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><p><strong>AN: So...what did y'all think? If there is interest in my continuing this, please review and let me know. I will take suggestions for autocorrected texts, as well.**


	2. GSpot

**Yay! I'm glad there's been a good response to this so far...because I have a few more. I will try to do 1-2 a week, as I can. **

**Usual disclaimer...I do not own them, Squeenix does, nor do I own DYAC.**

**Ths following installment features Tifa, Reno, and Cloud. **

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><p>Cloud was out on a reluctant non-date with Reno; the redheaded Turk had finally pesterered him into going out for drinks.<p>

"_Just_ drinks," Cloud had warned him, as they headed to a pub in Kalm.

"Don't worry, yo," Reno assured Cloud, smirking. "I'll be a perfect gentleman."

"I don't think you're capable of that," Cloud retorted, at which Reno snickered.

Arriving at the pub, the two sat at the bar, both placing their cell phones down on the counter, and Reno ordered the first round of drinks - a whiskey for each of them. He raised his glass in a toast after the drinks arrived.

"To new friendships," he declared, clinking his glass against Cloud's. "And...maybe something more," he added, with a wink at Cloud.

"In your _dreams_, Reno," Cloud returned, smirking. He had to admit, he was attracted to the redhead, but he'd never go so far as to tell him that, not yet. Not while sober, at any rate. He tilted his head back, swallowing the warm amber liquid in the glass, when he heard the telltale sign of a cellphone vibrating on the bar. Cloud looked down quickly to see whether it was Reno's or his own, and noticed that it was his own phone that was lit up, indicating an incoming text.

"It's Tifa," he announced, recognizing the number. Cloud tapped the screen to call up the text.

_~Great news! I finally found my GSPOT!~_

Cloud choked on the next mouthful of whiskey. "What the fuck!" he exclaimed in disbelief, causing Reno to inch a little closer and nosily try to read Cloud's text.

"Holy shit," Reno murmured, laughing. "Wow. I knew you guys were close yo, but I never thought..."

"That is way TMI," Cloud declared, shaking his head. He began composing a reply to Tifa's text.

_~Um, that's nice. Congratulations? Why are you telling me this? I'm on a date, BTW.~_

"See, it _is_ a date," Reno said tauntingly. "You're even calling it a date now, no matter how much you wanna deny it, Strife."

"Can you stop reading over my shoulder?" Cloud snapped, shielding his phone from Reno's view. "It's annoying."

"Hey," Reno replied, arching an eyebrow. "I'm not the one sexting my ex-girlfriend while I'm on a date with someone _else_," he said huffily, pretending to be hurt. The truth was, Reno was rather amused by the whole thing. He sat back on the barstool, and signaled to the bartender that he wanted to order another round.

Cloud's phone vibrated again, and a new text - a reply from Tifa suddenly appeared.

_~I found it in the backseat of my car! Oh, have fun on your date!~_

"What?" Cloud murmured to himself, feeling even more confused. "The backseat? What the hell is Tifa doing in the backseat of her car, masturbating?"

"That's fucking _hot_, yo," Reno remarked, nodding. "I mean - I'm not into women, but hell, I'd even like to see that."

"Fuck you, Reno," Cloud snapped.

"Maybe later," Reno replied, smirking. "Thought I would buy you dinner first, at least," he added, laughing.

Cloud groaned and shook his head. "You are impossible. I wonder...if Tifa is drunk?" he mused. Cloud began typing a reply.

_~Tifa, this conversation is getting too weird. I know we are best friends, but come on. TMI!~_

He sent the text, and not quite twenty seconds later, a reply popped up.

_~OMG, I am soooo embarrassed! GPS! I meant GPS. I'm sorry, Cloud! And go back to your date...I want to hear all about him in the morning. :D ~_

"Oh, you probably don't," Cloud murmured, chuckling as he shut off his phone, and turned back to Reno, who was shoving a second drink in his face.

"So," Cloud began, taking the glass from Reno. "Where were we?"

"Well," Reno said airily, clinking his glass against Cloud's. "I think you were finally about to agree to go out to dinner with me."

Cloud smirked at Reno. "_Not interested_," he replied teasingly, trying not to laugh around a mouthful of whiskey, as he saw Reno glaring at him out of the corner of his eye.

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><p><strong>And the text that inspired this one: <strong>

**"Great news! I finally found my GSPOT!"**  
><strong>"Um, wow. Thanks so much for sharing. Congratulations?"<strong>  
><strong>"I found it on the back seat of my car."<strong>  
><strong>"OK mom now this is just getting too weird. I know we are close, but come on." <strong>  
><strong>"Huh?"<strong>

**"Oh God! My GPS! Hahahaha!"**


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